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Here, insiders dish on what to steer clear of on the room service menu.Buckingham Fountain is an iconic Chicago attraction known for nightly light-and-music shows.There are enumerable factors beyond your control that can affect how an agent, manager or producer renders judgment at any given moment.But it can ensure that you have optimized the elements that are under your control, that you’ve truly given it your best shot. Here, then, is The Checklist for taking any unsolicited project — be it a screenplay, TV or web series concept, film project proposal or finished short/indie film — into the Hollywood marketplace: If You’re a Screenwriter • Check Your Length.You want your film to be the one other scripts are compared to, not vice-versa. This may seem counter-intuitive to good writing, but the truth is that what most people call “instincts” are actually “reflexes.” We’ve all been exposed to so many thousands of hours of television and motion picture stories over our lifetimes that, when confronted with a dramatic situation, our first reaction is to solve the problem the same way we’ve seen it solved dozens of times before. Good will not always be rewarded and bad not always punished. While this inequity strikes deep at the heart of our traditional Calvinist traditions, it does come with an upside. We’ve all been told to avoid putting all our eggs in a single basket. Sales is a notoriously brutal way to make a living.(Even if the “classic” solution never really made sense to begin with.) When trying to astonish your audience, take your first instinct, examine it for flaws or clichés, then throw it out and force yourself to come up with a solution or approach you’ve never seen before. For if it took you two weeks to solve the problem, then chances are your audience won’t figure it out in the few moments they have to ponder it. It means that, while your best efforts may go unrecompensed, there’s also a chance you may suddenly find yourself landing a deal for which you are not prepared or even qualified. Certainly any competent investor will never put all of his/her money into a single stock or real estate venture. In fact, it’s perhaps the only profession that supports a billion-dollar-a-year side industry devoted to nothing but “motivation.” Salespeople need to be constantly pumped up via seminars, rallies, self-help books and personal counseling just to keep from blowing their fucking brains out. In short, jaded theatre-goers no longer wished to be merely entertained. Although more than thirty years have passed since Lahr wrote his treatise, his maxim is more relevant than ever. In this highly competitive industry, technical competency by itself will not secure you an agent, nor will it lead to a spec sale or writing assignment.After all, with all the drek oozing its way out of the major studios and TV networks these days, one would think that competency alone would get one noticed. Professional comics always test new material and cut it mercilessly when necessary. Obviously, writing “great” instead of just “good” is a daunting task.

You can structure backwards and forwards, have all your “plot points” and “reversals” on precisely the right pages, write fully-dimensional characters, sparkling dialogue, creative action set-pieces, and even format your script with mathematical perfection, but unless you can astonish your readers, chances are your efforts will yield little more than a bad case of carpal tunnel syndrome.There is something to be said for having control, even if it’s over some not-so-prime real estate. Not only can these activities help divert your attention from the slings and arrows you suffer as you slog your way through Hollywood’s No Man’s Land, but who knows — you might actually find an audience. In 1980’s “The Empire Strikes Back,” renegade smuggler and hot shot pilot Han Solo is repeatedly warned by the excitable droid C-3PO against trying to outrun the Empire’s TIE fighters by venturing into a dense asteroid belt. Your job is to sell stories, be it via a pitch, a presentation, a screenplay or a test reel. And once that happens, as if by magic, the bitterness will vanish. As Shakespeare so eloquently put it in his tragedy “Julius Caesar,” “The fault…lies not in our stars, but in ourselves.” As her hero of our own inner movie, our natural instinct is to blame our frustration on others.With this in mind, bitterness with Hollywood can be avoided by finding alternate outlets for your creativity, outlets where your don’t have to answer to anyone but yourself. Building a website devoted to your personal passions. The odds of surviving, Threepio insists, are hundreds-of-thousands-to-one. ” Solo barks back, and immediately steers the Millennium Falcon into the rocky maelstrom. Since, in Hollywood, the supply of available stories always vastly exceeds the demand, the numbers dictate that you will necessarily hear more No’s than Yes’s. But to lash out at others is not only unproductive, it’s often counter-productive.Sometimes, things can break your way for no discernable reason. No experienced gambler risks his/her entire bankroll on a single hand of cards. If something fails — or something always does — you can find hope in the possibility that another one of your projects will pay off. One psychological trick salespeople use to keep themselves going is to see value in rejection.Likewise, you should never invest all your hopes, dreams and emotional capital in a single spec screenplay, gig or film project. Hell, you never know what’s going to catch a buyer’s fancy or satisfy a producer’s sudden need. Just keep tossing those dice and, sooner or later, you’re bound to throw a natural. In Milton’s “Paradise Lost,” Satan famously states that he would prefer to rule in Hell than serve in Heaven. They’re often told, “You need to earn 50 No’s to get a Yes.” (Or some other arbitrary number.) As a screenwriter or filmmaker, you are a salesperson. Do it long enough, let the No’s add up, and eventually you’ll have collected enough to earn a Yes.Since Bib Me™ makes it easy to create citations, build bibliographies and acknowledge other people’s work, there is no excuse to plagiarize.