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Tip #3: Don’t try to live by anyone else’s rules “I don’t prescribe rules,” says Carlson, “I encourage people to find their own way. I just know what I needed.” Because widowhood is not a journey we choose, and there is no one way to do it, she suggests tossing the “sure advice” from others out the window.From that experience, she created a grief support group and wrote a book about the grieving process called "Heart-Broken Open." Although dating is not the reason her readers visit the site or buy her book, it is a topic of discussion that comes up and is addressed, and Carlson, who is grandmother to two young boys, does have a lot to say about it.As a widow myself, I know it’s not an easy transition to make.She felt lonely and wanted the companionship, so she let it be that.“Don’t be too hasty to jump into a real relationship,” she says.So what should you do when you find yourself interested in dating someone who’s been widowed?