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After the baby arrives, we’re doing one month of silence.

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“It was pleasurable to meet new people and learn that you were ‘attractive’ somehow,” Katz recalls.

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We talked about our eating disorders with a candor unavailable to us at the lunch table.

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In 2001, I was 16, sitting at the computer in the family room when my best friend, Marla M12, found me on AIM.

We lied and pretended we got drunk, laughing at our crafty misspellings. Still, the risks of AIM were some of its greatest rewards, especially for teenage girls.

As Boyd notes, “AIM came on the scene at the height of the first large moral panic around online sexual predators and so the media and many parents panicked about the service, deeply frustrating teens.” We heard stories of women and girls who got raped or murdered by guys they met in chat rooms, lechery that now seems like prelude to the . “You had middle school students getting brave,” Moss says, “asking one another questions about sex, experimenting with language, acting in ways they knew to be inappropriate for school.” For young women who were told that their pleasure was inappropriate, the opportunity to develop a sexual identity online was invaluable.