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Therapy has become a customary part of my self-care song-and-dance, despite the sad truth that I haven't seen tons of progress when it comes to my struggles with depression, relationships, et al.Frankly, all those aforementioned deep-seated issues are still very much alive and kicking, therapy be damned.And not only can you order up sex as easily as Pad Thai (if you had to check your Pad Thai for visual sores), the laws of supply and demand mean you can get as specific as you want about your partner and scenario.Like maybe you're looking for a redhead to give you oral sex and then leave?Eventually, you will end up in therapy with men whose wives caught them with professional dominatrixes or who frittered away their life savings at strip clubs.You'll wear a rubber band on your wrist and snap it every time you are tempted to have eye sex with a guy on the subway.You will escort one man out of your room only to immediately sign back on and find another one, leading to days where you have sex with 2 or 3 different men.When your roommates are around, you will frequent sleazy motels, where the front desk staff begins to nod knowingly at you, almost certainly in the presumption that you are a prostitute.

Could spilling my guts to faceless strangers on an online message board or chat room possibly compare to "real" therapy? Paul Hokemeyer, a NYC-based addictions and family therapist, is dubious.

Or an older man to act out your sibling incest fantasy? If you are like me, with that special blend of poor self-image, lack of boundaries and compulsive tendencies, and you discover a fountain of neverending anonymous sex partners like Craigslist Casual Encounters, you will stop wanting to do anything else ever again.

You can get super weird and if you live in a fairly urban area, that dude is probably out there. And the stuff you will stop doing will include things like going to class, leaving your dorm room and "showering," except right before somebody comes over to soullessly bang your head against the bottom of your roommate's top bunk.

You'll have an elaborate system of passwords and blocks on your computer that keep you off sites like Craigslist but still able to write your term papers.

Confession time: I've been in talk therapy for more than 20 years (I started when I was 15—today I'm 37).