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It’s harder to feel alone when you’re 23, because everyone is a potential partner.

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A foolproof way to ensure that conversation will always be flowing is to simply your date things, although—given the fact that we never know how comfortable others are with casual conversation—that might be easier said than done. Where exactly do you live in [insert your city or town here]? Questions over the first drink should be an equal mix of inquisitive and casual, and should allow you to start gauging his or her true personality. The trick to successfully vetting a prospect on a first date, while simultaneously keeping the energy light and fun, is knowing what questions to ask and how to ask them. What are their likes and dislikes, what do you have in common, what does he or she do in their spare time? In reality, premature or exaggerated revelations are due more to boundary issues, unresolved pain, or self-centeredness than true intimacy. Maybe your first date questions will lead you to discover that this person is your soul mate—or maybe not. Either way, it’s exciting to be able to get to know another human being and get a peek into his or her world. What do you do, and how long have you been doing it? If you and your date are starting to hit it off, it’s time to start slipping in some slightly more personal questions, while making sure neither of you feel compelled to reveal too much. If you could only eat one thing for the rest of your life, what would it be? All the observable and obvious clues: They are nicely groomed—stylish, but not overdone. As would-be romances go, this plane is very slow to leave the gate and get onto the runway. or if it will lose engine power and sit on the tarmac indefinitely. It’s true that first dates can be one of the most nerve-wracking, anxiety-producing situations in our society. They scan the room, menu, and table setting, only occasionally making eye contact. The key to having a positive experience is relaxed conversation, and that can be helped along with some well-chosen first-date questions.

(L-r) RYAN GOSLING as Jacob and EMMA STONE as Hannah in Warner Bros. w=670" data-large-file="https://scstylecaster.files.wordpress.com/2015/03/crazy-stupid-love-movie-image-ryan-gosling-emma-stone-02.jpg? w=1024&h=683 1024w, https://scstylecaster.files.wordpress.com/2015/03/crazy-stupid-love-movie-image-ryan-gosling-emma-stone-02.jpg? w=2048&h=1366 2048w, https://scstylecaster.files.wordpress.com/2015/03/crazy-stupid-love-movie-image-ryan-gosling-emma-stone-02.jpg? w=150&h=100 150w, https://scstylecaster.files.wordpress.com/2015/03/crazy-stupid-love-movie-image-ryan-gosling-emma-stone-02.jpg? w=670&h=447 670w, https://scstylecaster.files.wordpress.com/2015/03/crazy-stupid-love-movie-image-ryan-gosling-emma-stone-02.jpg? w=768&h=512 768w" sizes="(max-width: 1024px) 100vw, 1024px" to be a precursor to an actual relationship, first dates are also mini-interviews disguised as social outings, whether we like to admit it or not. They’ll also further loosen the two of you up and can lead to some funny, entertaining conversation.

This phase is tricky, and should only be reserved if you’re really feeling strong vibes.

A man and woman face each other across a table at a downtown bistro, looking nervous and awkward. There is a stiff formality to the way they sit—no slouching. It remains to be seen if it will pick up speed, gain altitude, and soar skyward . Sometimes they lead to burning love; sometimes they go down in flames.

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If you could be any person for a day, who would it be?