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Hell, the guy could have got out of the car and fucked her right there on the street and I’d have still awkwardly pretended I didn’t see what was transpiring. Knock on the window and demand she stop giving him head?

Funny quotes on online dating

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Save a boyfriend for a rainy day—and another, in case it doesn’t rain.Whenever I date a guy, I think, “Is this the man I want my children to spend their weekends with? If tears come out her eyes because of you, I will make bloody tears come out of yours. You’ve been dating for a day, you aren’t in love, shut up.– Henry Cloud An online dating site for really old people called Carbon Dating. If you only see it as “taking,” you are not getting it.– Henry Cloud I’ve been on so many blind dates, I should get a free dog.Dear prince on a white horse, if you won’t show up soon, I will start dating with that stupid goat with the new Mercedes. If Facebook is like dating, then Twitter is like a one night stand – it’s fun while you’re doing it, you finish in like 5 minutes, and you feel real cheap afterwards.If a guy after the first date remembers the color of your eyes, concern about the size of your breast. I dated a lot, but I never really had anyone who was worthy of an anniversary.

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If I were Nike and you were Mcdonald, I would be doing it and you would be loving it! I’m eating a sandwich, do you want those leftovers too?

Remember that we are the largest free online dating service, so you will never have to pay a dime to meet your soulmate. If I do not return your call, you are one of the changes." I got an email one day with this on it:"A woman was trying to help her husband set up and email account.

I dialed a number and got the following recording: "I am not available right now, but thank you for caring enough to call. He thought he would be funny by using the word 'pen! She fell over laughing when it said its not long enough to accept."Thoughts to Ponder Number 10Life is sexually transmitted.

Number 5 Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in hospitals dying of nothing..

Number 4 All of us could take a lesson from the weather. Number 3 Why does a slight tax increase cost you 0.00 and a substantial tax cut saves you .00?