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Paramedics had been doing CPR for over an hour, or the patient had been found down with no indication of how long they’d been without a pulse, or they’d have an injury that seemed far too traumatic to survive.So we’d roll up our sleeves and try a Hail Mary, which sometimes involved cracking the patient’s chest open and the trauma surgeon massaging the patient’s heart back to life." The other partner goes in thinking, "This is awesome: I'm never going to have to travel alone again. " The issues arise when they don't talk these things over, and then go home after the wedding and the one partner is thinking, "Wow, the honeymoon was dull. " And the other partner is thinking, "Wait, did they just say they don't want to go to San Francisco with me next weekend? Not to get all Freudian on you, but this is where talking about your parents' marriages/relationships can come in handy.After all, these are the relationships that you grew up around, and chances are decent that your own values about marriage are either a reflection of OR reaction against what you grew up with.Talking about other people's marriages can help you better get your brain around your own values.Is being married all about spending all your time together?

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Our relationship wasn’t like that; it was like the 80 year old man who had heart failure and diabetes and cancer and liver issues and a hell of a lot of luck for living this long.

It felt like the thing between us was at its end and all we were waiting for was for someone to pronounce it dead.

But I stiffened my upper lip and placed my hands on the steering wheel, telling myself that I would be damned if I didn’t crack that chest open and massage the heart back to life with my own bare hands.

Is it about building a home together or is it about traveling the world together?

Is it about feeling so confident in your commitment that you feel ok about going to grad school on opposite coasts?