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Online dating manners

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I will admit I never dreamed of doing what I do now, but perhaps the signs were there.

Indeed, I failed my driving test - for being too polite.

During the test, I unashamedly took my hand off the wheel to thank an articulated lorry for letting me out at a junction.

Well, according to examiner Paul (I have no idea if that was his name - it was something nondescript like that) I may as well have mounted the curb and run over a cat. Still, I'd rather fail and be polite than win and be rude. My toe was first dipped in the waters of etiquette before I had left school: I was asked to teach table manners to the younger years.

Obviously, if you’ve been intimate with the other person or have spent a lot of time together out in the real world, then a phone call or in-person letdown is much more acceptable. If you haven’t met in-person, then it would completely inappropriate to ask.

Some questions going through a potential date’s head could be, “Why would they want to know where I live? ” Wait until they tell you where they work or invite you over to where they live.

• If the response is from a candidate clearly outside your stated parameters, ignore it. However, reply to all responses, even if the answer is no.

• Respond in a timely manner, just as you would to a phone call or an email from someone you know. • If you are interested in seeing the other person again, let him or her know so you can arrange to meet again.

If you are planning to take the plunge into the world of online dating, you should learn the code of online dating etiquette first; it will save you from wasting time, being disappointed and hurting the feelings of other people. You will be dealing with real people with real feelings.

Here are some of the rules you should follow to protect yourself and others.

• Engage in cyber dating only if you are seriously searching for a partner. • There are many online dating agencies, and many allow a limited free-trial period. Also, it can't hurt to check out their dating policies. Be honest from the get-go, or you will be wasting your time with unsuitable candidates.

• Once you have found your "perfect" match, discontinue your ad by removing your profile. Lisa Mirza Grotts is a recognized etiquette expert, an on-air contributor, and the author of A Traveler's Passport to Etiquette.

She is a former director of protocol for the city and county of San Francisco and the founder and CEO of The AML Group (