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Queer girl dating advice

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Low expectations mean high excitement at small success.

This isn’t in reference to any particular difficulty facing trans women, though there are many; it is always helpful to lower your expectations. Ok Cupid, Match, or Tinder; it doesn’t really matter where, but you’ll need one.

You will be elated in your heart that someone cares about you, and wants to kiss you… Gird your loins against the barbs flung at you and your partner. Embrace being a really hot lesbian with a super amazing girlfriend. Try to not be burned by them with every single uneducated, casual insult.

It doesn’t matter if they actually care about you for who you are as a person, there are many who enjoy distilling you to your transgender history. Laugh to yourself at all the ridiculously sad people who would want to hurt you and your partner.

Like many stereotypes, the lived experiences of one group have almost certainly colored the perceptions of another, however unfairly or inaccurately.

But I believe that it’s time to examine the pervasive, inner workings of heterosexual conditioning that, whether any of us in the bisexual community want to admit or not, have doomed so many bisexual/lesbian pairings to failure.

Brook is a queer trans woman living in Portland who hangs out with her cat, and does all manner of technical magic for a software company.

No, not every lesbian owns 23 plaid shirts and has short hair.

Without them, you will end up posting a photo with kale in your teeth, or where there is clearly a dog using the restroom in the background. Attend events specifically targeted towards lesbians like you.

Talk about anything but how you’ll probably never meet up, and if you do, there won’t be a second date. Take heed that many of your fellow women have taken exactly one women’s and gender studies course in college, and “know all about being transgendered.” (sic) Be prepared to hear girls talk about how they’re “not really feminists, because they like to have fun.” Feel free to shake your head and pour a drink.

Get ready to hear a lot of very surface-level readings of Judith Butler.

Use lines like “Of course I’m a biological woman, and not a cyber woman… Find ways to forgive them in your heart for being such shitheels. You may want to high-five the women who are still attracted to you, regardless of what you discuss.

Practice explaining why “biological woman” is ridiculous. Practice your smile and, “Ok, that’s fine, I had fun,” response to “I can’t sleep with you now,” or “I’m just not attracted to [your genitals],” or “I’m a gold star lesbian, I can’t sleep with you.” You may also hear, “you’re so brave.” 12. Bask in the glow of reciprocal attraction when it does occur – it may be rare.