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Both David Bowie and the novelist Anita Brookner, who died this week, went for “direct cremation”, where the body is sent straight to the cremator from hospital or home, with no attendance or ceremony.Ashes are scattered by the undertakers or returned to the family.

For those living the rural life, Bakker recommends getting involved in the community.

Crucially, it also cancels at a stroke what my mother would call the “mawkish” nature of many funerals, particularly in church.

Hatching, matching and dispatching: the church does it with flowers, music and gusto – but mostly the first two.

I went upstairs and banged on the door and said, 'Morning! '"I walked into the bedroom and David was there with all these pillows and duvets on top of him and on the other side of the bed was Mick's leg sticking out."I said: 'Did you guys have a good night? We went out for dinner, back to her place and had plenty of lively sex."We had a very late night and didn't go to bed until 3am or 4am.

Then we woke up late in north London and had to be in Bromley by 10am to get married.