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Being a survivor—and the resilience that goes along with it—is such a deep part of who I am.

I knew I needed a partner with an appropriate level of spiritual depth, emotional intelligence, and empathy to join me on my lifelong journey of being a survivor.

On the other hand, it was a personal story and one that I didn’t necessarily want to share in detail with someone unless I saw a future together.

Ultimately, I learned to open the door to my history a little bit at a time, in ways that tracked with the developing intimacy with the relationship.

After almost four years in that marriage, one might think I knew more when I said "I do" the second time, standing under an ancient balboa tree -- this time in a white lacy thing -- in San Diego's Balboa Park a decade later.

But regardless of when sex entered into the equation, the issue of safe sex was still somewhat muddled.

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I'll be the first to admit that I didn't know much about marriage when I said "I do" the first time, standing in the Rocky Mountains in my Frye boots and beaded and feathered faux-suede dress just a few months shy of my 21st birthday.